Dear Harper: Week 6

Dear Harper,

We have had a fun, relaxing long weekend at the beach with your Florida grandparents.  I will admit that I was a little nervous leading up to our trip. Every time this week that I have had you in your car seat you have not been a happy little guy. We went walking with a friend and halfway around the lake, you decided to let everyone know that you wanted out. As soon as I picked you up you were as content as can be. I now know that I can walk over a mile and a half with you in my arms.

I brought you to a girls night this week and all of the girls just adored you. Towards the end of the night, you just wanted to scream. I had you calmed down and then we walked past a mirror and the screaming started up again. My friends said they didn’t mind but we headed home and I hit nearly every reflector in the road to sooth you.

You were so amazing on the car ride to the beach. You slept all but the last thirty minutes but those were a long thirty minutes for your dad and I. You were happy to be all settled in and soon after we arrived you got to meet your dad’s cousin’s baby girl Ashton. She is four weeks older than you and absolutely adorable. We sat you both together for a little photo shoot. Nearly 100 pictures later and I don’t think the two of you ever looked at the camera at the same time. It is going to be so much fun having her near when you are growing up. Geoff’s aunt, uncle and grandma joined us for dinner. We got lots of pictures of the four generations. I am so grateful that we live near family and you will be raised knowing them so well. They love you so already. Your great grandma loves to have little chats with you.

Your dad and I had our first night out since you were born. Our friends got married in the same town as the beach house and your grandparents babysat you. We missed you dearly and came home before the dancing began.

The beach has been treating you well. You are sleeping over five hours and one night even six hours at night and even taking most of your naps. You still don’t want to be put down but having extra sets of arms makes this request easier. Your grandma has been holding you while your dad and I take Argos down to the beach. You are a little too young to enjoy the beach but we have been walking with you in the Ergo every morning.

It wont be long until we are chasing you in the water and stopping you from eating sand.

I love you Harper. I always will. 

Love,

Mom

Dear Harper: Week 5

Dear Harper

This week I was so grateful that you seem to enjoy your car seat. We had multiple long drives and you handled most of them like a champ. Our trial drive was to Whole Foods with your FL grandma. You were sound asleep for the first 45 minutes but as soon as we exited the freeway you woke up and made sure we knew you were awake. You don’t appear to like us stopping at stoplights. You did great at Whole Foods but did decide to let half the store know that you do not like your diaper being changed in a public restroom. None of us can blame you on that one. You took a bottle while we ate lunch and fell back asleep on the way home.

The next night was the first night that it was “just the guys”. I had a meeting and your dad came home from work to watch you for two hours. Apparently you cried until five minutes before I got back home. I think you missed me…

Notice the "blanket"....

Saturday was your true test in the car. We drove down to Stuart for my good girlfriends bachelorette party.  Your dad was so kind to come with us to watch you while I had fun with the girls. I was really hoping you got all of your crying out the first time but once again you were unhappy and cried for three and a half hours. I am not sure which one of you looked more exhausted when I got home.

Dad "babysitting"

That was the first night we had you sleep in your Pack ‘n Play. Once your dad got you to sleep you did great in it. I have been using the Swaddle Me Velcro swaddles instead of a blanket and they seem to do much better. It didn’t matter how snuggly we swaddled you, you always broke an arm or two out. You have been sleeping four to five hour stretches in your crib at night. Normally around 3 hours you wake up and start fussing but after five minutes you fall back asleep without any help. Naps did not come as easy this week. If you fall asleep for a nap, you are typically being held. I am grateful that you are asleep but it becomes difficult to accomplish much of anything.

This past week you have become aware to all of your surroundings. This has lead to less napping and more crying. Almost every night around 6:00pm we have to use every trick in every book to sooth you. You will have a full bully, clean diaper and well burped but still you wail. As soon as we think you are calm and we can stop bouncing, shhhing, dancing and letting you suck on our finger you start up again.

You still love your daily walks. We go further and further each day. Some days you sleep and other days you just stare up at me. I really enjoy that time of our day. I can’t wait until we can walk to the park and push you in a swing. 

I love you Harper Glen. I always will.

Love,

Mom

Dear Harper: Week 4

Dear Harper,

How are you a month old already? I know I will ask myself this every single month, if not every single day, but I feel like we just brought you home.

This past week was a big week of firsts for both of us.

Our first big moment for us was me leaving you with  your Florida grandma while I ran to the grocery store. You may not have even noticed that I was gone but it was an emotional moment for me. I have never grocery shopped so quickly in my life. I knew you were in good hands but it is hard to be away. I haven’t even left you alone with your dad yet. Baby steps.

I suppose I have to get used to it because we have a few events coming up that will require your grandmother or dad to watch you for a few hours. This leads to the next big, emotional, moment for us. You drank out of your first bottle. I am not so sure why I was so nervous that you wouldn’t take it. Your dad and you went  into the nursery and sat in our glider, just like we normally do and he gave you a bottle. You drank all four ounces in minutes. I am not even sure you noticed that anything was different.  

All of this eating has caused you to outgrow newborn diapers. You are officially in size one. We also started using gPants. They are a modified cloth diaper that has flushable inserts. They are adorable on you and easy to use. I may have turned all of the liners pink when I forgot to separate unwashed colors. I plan on using these during the day for now and stick with disposables at night or when we are out of town.

I have been contemplating giving you a pacifier but was on the fence. The other night, while I was washing up, you were crying. Your dad was trying to sooth you but I could tell nothing was working. Then quiet. Your dad found your pacifier stash and you loved it. Looks like we will be using one to help sooth you when your thumb isn't enough. 

You still don't like to be put down. I spend hours every day around lunch walking, dancing and bouncing you. You fuss as soon as I sit down and even if you are asleep you wake up as soon as I try to transfer you to your infant rocker or crib. Your two favorite spots to sleep are your Florida Grandma's or your dad's chest. 

Our morning walks are getting longer but somehow your morning nap has gotten shorter. You like to stay awake for the first portion of the walk  until you can not fight it any more. We even ventured out to walk with my friend Anna who is expecting a little one in a few months. The two of you will be great friends.

Another big step for us was our first outing. We went to Jo-Anns Fabric store to pick up craft supplies for a gift for your dad. We arrived at the store right as it opened and they were still running the vacuum for the perfect amount of white noise to keep you asleep.

On Sunday, your dad joined us for our morning walk. He took us to Circle B and we got to walk the trails and see the wild life. We even got to see a few alligators. The bumpy terrain kept you asleep the whole time.

I look forward to more and more firsts every week. You are precious.

One of your newborn pictures. Can't wait to see the rest. 

  

I will always love you.

Love,

Mom

Dear Harper: Week 3

Dear Harper,

This week you grew into more than just a sleepy newborn. Your wake time between naps, feedings and diaper changes has increased and you are more aware of your surroundings. Your focus is stronger and it doesn’t matter where I am, if you hear my voice you try searching for me. 

We have starting “tummy time” and you are a strong one. You have no trouble lifting you head but after a few moments it comes crashing down. It is adorable. You have also discovered your thumb. You aren’t always able to get it to your mouth on your own but when you do you are ecstatic.

One of my favorite activities that we added to our daily routine is our morning walks.  After I feed you, change your diaper and get you dressed we head out for a thirty minute walk in the neighborhood with Argos. The fresh air is great for both of us and the weather has been surprisingly perfect. You fall asleep moments after we leave and continue your nap in the stroller at home. I look forward to lengthening the walks and future walks with friends.

Bath time has become even more enjoyable for you and your dad. Every other night its just the two of you and your infant tub in the kitchen sink. I love to watch and want to help but I know it is your time with your dad. I do get to dry you off after. You smell so amazing and are very relaxed.

On Friday, we had your infant pictures taken. You were a trooper. I’ll admit that I was nervous about getting you super sleepy to take the pictures but it turned out so well. We have gotten to see a few of them and I look forward to seeing the rest. I know these are pictures that we will cherish forever. I think you got your dad’s photogenic genes.

We had our first Mother’s Day this weekend. Saturday night we celebrated with your Great Grandma “Nonnie” as well as your Great Aunts, Great Uncle, Grandparents and your dad’s cousins. I could tell you were slightly overwhelmed but you did so well. Of course you decided you wanted to eat right as it was time to sit down for dinner. On Sunday, your dad gave me the sweetest card and an arrangement of various flowers and blossoms from the garden in a mason jar. It was very sweet. He even picked carrots and grapefruit to juice.  We had a delicious pasta dinner with kale, broccoli and oven dried tomatoes from the garden and attempted to watch a movie after we put you to sleep. Of course you decided that you wanted to continue celebrating with us and fought sleep with all the energy you had. After the movie your dad brought you back to your room to change your diaper and you fell asleep on the changing table. You even slept through him swaddling you.

It was an honor to be your mom on Mother’s Day. No matter how many naps you resist, I love you. I always will.

Love,

Mom

Dear Harper: Week 2

Dear Harper,

You are two weeks old today. We are both still showing signs of your delivery but healing well. Your collarbone is on its way to being healed and the doctor said your head looks better. You are weighing in at 9lbs 6oz. Nearly a whole pound above your birth weight. You have also grown a half-inch. I am no longer worried that our little “milk dud” isn’t eating enough food.

 Week one you were a very easy baby. You went to sleep quickly and quietly and stayed asleep so long that I had to wake you up from almost every nap to feed you. This week you have decided to become your own, strong willed person. You don’t always want to take a nap but most of the time you are content hanging out in your crib but when it is time for bedtime you become rather vocal. Your dad and I spend time alternating rocking, loving and changing that always-dirty diaper. Once you are asleep and as long as you don’t break free from your swaddle wrap, you are a strong sleeper. Some nights you even let me go 4 hours between feedings.

You met my parents, your grandparents this week. They love you dearly. It was such a joy to see them smile every time you snuggled up against them and gave them a smile. Your grandma even helped change a few dozen of your diapers and rocked you to sleep for many naps. That may be why you don’t want to go straight to sleep on your own….

Your umbilical cord stump, or belly bacon as your dad refers to it, fell off this week.  I didn’t want to be the one to throw it away so I made you dad toss it when he got home from work. With the stump gone we were able to use your infant tub. The first attempt was painful for all involved but last night you seemed to almost enjoy it. It is a special time for you and your dad. He may not be able to feed you yet but he gets to bathe you a few times a week. It is the sweetest thing to watch.

First Bath

Second Bath

You and your dad share a similar trait: the inability to only sneeze once.  I have learned not to “bless you” until the third, forth or even fifth sneeze has passed. It is something I have always teased your dad about.

I am really looking forward to spending this week with you. It will be the first time it is just you and I home.  You have a long list of visitors wanting to come give you loves and I look forward to the company but it will be nice to figure us out. We are in this together and as sleep deprived as I am, I look forward to every moment.

I love you little Harper. I always will.

Love,

Mom 

Dear Harper: Week 1

Dear Harper,

You have blessed our lives for an entire week today. We are both so grateful to have your healthy, happy self in our family. I have decided to write you letters as reminders of all of your special moments and hopefully someday you will read them and always remember how much you were loved from the start.

As I write this I have your baby monitor next to the computer and I am unsuccessfully trying not to tear up.

We brought you home from the hospital Wednesday afternoon. That day was one of the most nerve wrecking of your dad and my lives. We no longer had the security of all of the nurses and hospital staff. It was now just you, your dad and me. You road in the car so well and of course I sat in the back seat with you and held your hand. I needed your strength.

I knew from the beginning that I wanted you to sleep in your crib at night. The first few nights that did not last very long and we let you sleep in your infant rocker. The infant rocker may be your favorite place to be. Last night was the first night I did not sleep in your room and you have been such a big boy sleeping in your crib. I think you would sleep through the night if I were to let you but I know your tiny stomach needs food at least every four hours.

Feeding you is such a special time for me. Being able to look down at you while I supply you with all of the nourishment your little body needs is such a blessing. At the hospital you had very interest in eating and the nurses kept trying to get you to eat. I knew you were tired and would become a healthy eater as soon as you were ready. Boy was I right, once my milk fully came in we had to go see the lactation nurse at the birthing center. Calling you a snapping turtle would be an understatement. You would latch on and not let go until you fell asleep. The nurse got us on the right track and now your dad lovingly refers to you as “milk dud”. Our feedings end with both of us covered in milk and a big smile on your face.

You had your first doctor’s appointment on Friday. Your dad and I both took you and you were such a trooper. You have already surpassed your birth weight and now weigh in at 8lbs 8 oz. You even got your first shot. The doctor told us that you broke your collarbone during delivery. This breaks my heart but it will heal on its own.  It looks like we both got rather beat up that day. I know I am still recovering.

You are such a happy baby. Tears typically mean you have a very wet diaper or are just in need of some extra cuddles. You do tend to get fussy when it is time for me to eat dinner. The infant swing with lullabies seems to do the trick. You like to be swaddled for bedtime but apparently only when your dad does it. I promise I will get better at it.

You have had so many visitors in your first week of life. There is so much love in this world for you already. You get to meet your grandma Carole today. She drove 10 hours to see your chubby checks and give you even more love.

It is time for your next feeding and from what I can hear on the baby monitor a fresh diaper.

I love you Harper. I always will.

Love,

Mom

Harper's Birth Story

Geoff and I are very happy to annouce that our son, Harper Glen Roe, was born April 22nd at 6:54pm. 

Sunday morning I woke up after an unrestful nights sleep not feeling very well, almost like I was coming down with the flu. I was very achy and exhausted. I stayed home all day and attempted to get rest. Starting around 4pm contractions began to occur at a regular basis but they averaged 9 minutes apart for 30 seconds. I continued to labor at home until 10pm when the contractions averaged 5 minutes apart and one minute long. At this point we packed the car and headed to the birthing center. 

Once we arrived at The Regency, we were checked into triage. In triage, my vitals were taken and I was hooked up to monitors that check the babies heartbeat as well as my contractors. A nurse checked to see how dilated I was and to our surprise I was not dilated at all. I had been fully effaced for over a week and knowing that I wasn't dialted took us both by surprise. The nurse had us walk laps inside the facility for an hour to move labor along. The walking was tiring and the contractions continued but when the nurse checked my status I had not progressed. Three hours after arriving, we were sent home and I was told to get a good nights rest.

Telling a woman in labor to get a good nights rest is a cruel request. I continued to have contracts that averaged 5 minutes apart all night. I would have the contraction and pass out until the next one arrived. It was exhausting but at least I was able to get some sleep. 

Contractions continued all morning but their duration and intensity continued and my water still had not broken. I had a doctor appointment at my OB office at 11:10am and the hospital told us to go to it as scheduled and my doctor would come up with a plan. 

Sitting in a doctor's waiting room and having contractions surrounded by other pregnant woman is a very unpleasant experience. At this point, I really just wanted to deliver the baby. Even if it was in the waiting room.

The nurse went through the standard questions and checking of vitals before I saw the doctor.  I have never been so happy to see someone as I was when my doctor walked in. I told her I wanted to have the baby now. She checked my progress and to my surprise I was 4 centimeters. She told us to head over to The Regency and we were going to have a baby today. Bring on the tears of joy.

We made a slight detour before pulling into the hospital. I decided I needed a blue Powerade from Sonic since I hadn't eaten recently and knew I wasn't supposed to eat anything from here on out. I hate powerade but it seemed like the most practical decision at the time. 

Once at The Regency, we were checked into room 212. We were going to have a baby! More vitals were taken and test were run. The contractions were still coming on strong and my emotions were high.  I was very anxious but ready to proceed.

The anesthesia doctor came in to discuss my blood work. I knew this wasn't going to be good news but never thought that not having an epidural would have to be an option. My blood platelet count was below average and borderline too low to have an epidural. Some doctors wont administer it because having a low platelet count reduces your bodies ability to clot and if the epidural needle or catheter were to nick anything in my back, it may not be able to clot on its own. During the conversation my doctor walked in and with her knowing my lack of pain tolerance we came to the decision that I needed to proceed with an epidural. 

My doctor then broke my water. The sensation of this was unlike anything I could have ever anticipated. Then the contractions came on strong. It wasn't for another 45 minutes that the doctor came to administer my epidural. Geoff really had to help me breath through the contractors and try to relax in between. 

The epidural procedure was quicker and not as painful as I anticipated. The doctor did a great job and the hardest part was having to breath through my contractions while he worked. It took about 15 minutes for the epidural took effect but I knew pain relief was on its way. 

Over the next few hours I was able to relax as contractions passed. Some of the contractions I wasn't able to feel unless Geoff told me he could see one on the monitor. I was able to get my energy back and mentally prepare to push. When I was 9 centimeters dilated, I had to start breathing through my contractions and most of the feelings in my legs returned. I was quick to request the doctor to return and figure out my pain management options. 

The doctor added additional pain medicine to my IV. Everyone takes to an epidural differently and it is hard for the doctor to estimate how it will effect your body. I knew with the current level of pain, not having additional medicine was going to be intense. I wasn't aware how intense the next two hours were going to be even with the additional medicine.

At 5:30pm it was time to start pushing. Nothing can prepare you for the effort and process of pushing a baby out of the womb. You loose all modesty and control of emotions. The next hour and ten minutes of pushing were the most exhausting, tiring, intense and painful moments of my life. The fact that it is a two steps forward, one step back process becomes very frustrating. I knew I was so close to having our baby in my arms but the exhaustion and pain kept having me ask how much longer or what was a plan b if this baby didn't want to be pushed out. Most of the pushing happens with the labor and delivery nurse and thank goodness mine was amazing. My OB would come in to check on our progress but when it was time for her to deliver the baby she came in in a full splash guard outfit. I was not sure what to expect.

The last set of pushing is the largest roller coaster of emotions I have every experienced. I was beyond tired and screaming in pain. I could feel his head so close to being in our world and at that moment nothing else matters. Once his head passed, then his shoulders, body and legs he was placed on my chest. Nothing could have stopped the tears. I have never been happier. 40 weeks of pregnancy could not prepare you for the love that fills your heart at that moment. Our family of two was officially a family of three. We had a baby boy. Our lives were forever changed. 

The next moments are now all a blur. The nurses took Harper to the warming table to check all of his vitals and a pediatrician cleared his lungs. I recall telling Geoff to go over to the baby and take pictures. I also recall them saying his weight and gasping at the 8lbs 7oz number. I didn't think it was right but the fact that my OB was stitching me back up made it a reality. We had a big, healthy baby. 

Harper Glen Roe was born. We stayed in the delivery room for the next few hours. I had a fever and we all needed to regain strength. 

We remained in the hospital for a total of 48 hours. My OB, the nursing staff and all of the employees were so amazing. I got tough love from the labor and delivery team and a lot of TLC from the Mom and Baby nurses. Everyone was very helpful.

We were so grateful for all of our family and friends that came to visit us. It is so great to see all of the love for Harper already. I can't believe he is almost a week old already.