Dear Charlie: 2 Months

Dear Charlie,

I can't believe you are two months old but I will say you do look older! All those rolls and chunky cheeks are adorable. You have nearly doubled in size. You weighed in at 14 lbs 2 oz and are 24 inches long!  I keep squeezing you into your 0-3 month clothes because I am not ready to move on to the next size. I wouldn't mind keeping you as my tiny, snuggly newborn forever. Although I am ready for the newborn evening screaming to pass. Every night, without fail, you cry your lungs out from the time your dad gets home from work to bedtime. The only moments you aren't crying are when you are nursing, taking a cat nap or in the bath. 

You don't seem to have strong feelings for or against the bath. Overall it appears to be a pleasant experience for you. There are no tears but there isn't any smiling. You quickly protest the end of the bath and do not want to get dressed for bed. 

Most nights you go to sleep without a fight. I do my best to put you in your crib awake and pat your belly until you are settled. Yes you have been sleeping in your crib all month. The transition was smoother than I anticipated. You still take a few naps a week in your Rock and Play. We now have a new baby monitor to keep an eye on you so naps in the crib will hopefully be soon. I really enjoy having you nap on me but that makes keeping an eye on your brother challenging. 

Grandma Carole went home at the end of April but Grandpa Bob stuck around and your Aunt Kelle came down for her spring break. While they were here we took a trip over to Sebastian to enjoy the beautiful weather. You did wonderful. We sat in stopped traffic for two hours and you handled it beautifully. You even slept great in a Pack and Play. Your brother never liked that thing! 

You got to meet your Great Grandma Nonnie this past week along with your dad's Uncle Gene, Aunt Terry, Cousin Sarah and her two little ones. Austin is just a month younger than you! I can't wait to see the two of you become great friends. His older sister, Ashton, holds her own with your brother. 

I feel so blessed that you are so loved by so many family members. Having your Grandma Carole here for your first two months of life was such a treat. She kept your brother busy but always made sure to have cuddle time with you at the end of the day. You always made sure to spit up on her outfit before she left. 

We celebrated your first Easter this weekend. You were such a sweet baby at church. Your Gammy and Papa came over to watch your brother hunt for Easter eggs and eat lunch. Next year you will be ready to hunt eggs with your brother! 

When you are fussy being out doors or loud music seems to help. The blender always quiets you. I have gotten in the habit of over blending my morning smoothy if you are upset. Tickles and silly songs make you all smiles. You are just starting to enjoy your playmat but aren't too thrilled with tummy time. You love to be "standing" and hate to be strapped into your carseat. I think you are going to be very busy very soon! 

If it was up to you, you would nurse all day. I try to stretch out feedings as long as you will allow but you want to cluster feed in the morning and evenings. You go for 5 to 6 hours at night for the first stretch but after that you only go 2 to 3 hours. You out grew your velcro swaddles this month and we switched you to the Halo Sleep Sacks that everyone recommends. It doesn't matter how tight I wrap you at least half the time you have an arm out by the next feeding. 

I wasn't sure how it was going to be having you sleep in our room but now I wouldn't have it any other way. I never slept well with your brother in his room those first few months. Having you close by allows me to check on you and sneak kisses as often as I want. 

You are such a joy Charlie. I will always love you. 

Dear Charlie: 1 Month

Dear Charlie,

We have been blessed to have you in our lives for a month. These four weeks have flown by. 

It has been an adjustment growing from a family of three to a family of four but with each day the overwhelming feelings lessened.  The biggest adjustment has been for your big brother. He wasn't used to having to share our attention, wasn't too sure what exactly you were doing at our house and why you weren't leaving. 

The day we got to bring you home it was rainy and dark out. You slept for most of your first day home and even surprised us with how well you slept that night. So far you have been a great sleeper for a newborn. You typically have a four to five hour stretch followed by a couple two hour stretches. There are no complaints from your parents. You are even sleeping better than your big brother most nights! We currently have you sleeping in your Rock and Play because you are not a fan of being flat on your back but hope to transition you to your crib soon. We dress you in your very handsome gowns and swaddle you in a velcro swaddle. The velcro swaddles are amazing and prevent you from busting out in the middle of the night. 

The first two weeks you napped for most of the day. When you were awake you either nursed or were just content. It wasn't until the third week when you decided to use your lungs A LOT. Now if you aren't sleeping, nursing, or milk drunk you like to scream. Being worn in the Ergo seems to help but as soon as you decide you want out you will cry until it is time for bed unless I am nursing you. Nursing you through dinner has seemed to be the only way your dad, brother and I can sit down together and we are ok with that. I may have dropped a vegetable or two on your head but that hasn't seemed to distract you. 

You are so strong and so alert already. You love lifting your head and looking at the lights around you. I love looking into your eyes as you explore. 

Bath time is still a time for you to cry your hardest. Each night seems to get a little better but you have not learned to enjoy it yet. You hated the sponge baths prior to your umbilical cord falling off and sitting in the infant tub seemed to anger you less. We are looking forward to you and your brother getting to play in the bath together once you are strong enough. 

We have only ventured out of the house to go to your doctor and to  Gammy's and Papa's house a couple of times but have a few outings planned this week. We have started to take walks with you in your infant seat. Some mornings it will just be the two of us but if your Grandma Carole is here we load up the double Bob and bring Argos with us. Your brother loves holding your hand while we walk. 

I think one of the biggest differences between bringing you home and brining your brother home is our confidence. We know everything is going to be okay and the mantra "this too shall pass" when we are in a tough or exhausting moment. 

You are a wonderful addition to our family. We will forever love you Charlie Ash. 

Charlie's Birth Story

Geoff and I are very happy to announce that our 2nd son, Charlie Ash Roe, was born February 3rd at 7:52pm. 

The days leading up to your arrival were full of anticipation. I was so excited to meet you but my anxiety was through the roof. My mind was full of questions, concerns and "what ifs". The night prior to your due date, I made sure to eat every food listed on the "may induce labor" charts and your brother and I danced and danced and danced. I was willing to do anything to have you enter this world on your own. 

I was suddenly, painfully awaken by contractions at 2am on your due date. Your brother had woken up at midnight wanting to cuddle with your dad in his room leaving me alone in our room. Your dad had no idea that you would be here soon until the next morning. The contractions were very inconsistent ranging from five minutes to fifteen minutes apart and only thirty seconds long. This continued throughout the night and into the morning. It wasn't until mid morning that they got closer together and longer but still not your textbook when you are five minutes apart, a minute long for an hour. 

Grandma Carole picked up your brother to get his haircut and play at the park while I labored at home for a few hours. Around lunch your dad came home and we attempted to watch TV to distract me. It wasn't until I had been having contractions for 12 hours that I decided to go to the hospital. I was almost certain they would send me home but the pain was getting intense but again still not consistent.

Once at the hospital, I still thought they would release me back home from triage so we didn't even bring up any of our bags. Triage was completely full and they had to find another room for us. The full moon was sending all of the moms into labor! The nurse hooked me up to the monitor and said she would be back soon to check on my progress. I think she too believe I would be going home because I hadn't had a single contraction since she put us in the room. As she was stepping out to check on the other moms a contraction came and your drop in heartbeat stopped her in her tracks. The drop singled a few things but it let her know that your head was getting squeezed. She checked my progress and to everyone's surprise I was 6 cm dialted. We weren't going home! I instantly teared up. You were going to be born soon! 

They moved us to a labor and delivery room, got an IV going, took my blood and filled out paperwork. I was anxiously awaiting the blood work to see if my platelet count was high enough for an epidural. It was! The same anesthesiologist was on call that gave me my first epidural was there and that was a relief. The epidural took just how I was hoping and I could finally relax. Your dad was now able to go downstairs to get our bags and your cord blood kit. 

At this point I had only progressed another centimeter and was waiting on the doctor to break my water.  The hospital was extremely busy and I could tell that no one was in any rush to break my water knowing that I would progress quickly after that. Each nurse had multiple patients and the nurse that was at my side when I delivered was the fifth of the night to come to our aid. 

Dr Moreno was the OB on call and she did a wonderful job ensuring that everything went smoothly. She broke my water and over the course of the next couple hours I was dilated fully. 

It was time to push and I broke down emotionally. The pain of the contractions had returned on half of my body but I knew you were going to be here soon. I didn't realize how soon though! I was mentally prepared to push for well over an hour and was pacing myself. I even pushed the button to give me a little more pain relief.  I didn't want to use up all of my energy in the beginning even though the doctor told me it wouldn't take that long. Less than ten minutes later, you were placed on my chest. I was holding my baby boy. There were no words. You were perfect. You even had a full head of brown hair! 

I found out later that one of the reasons your heart rate kept dropping was that your umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck. This didn't cause any additional issues and you took your first breath perfectly. You were a perfect 7lbs 10oz and 19.5" long. You felt so tiny in my arms. I will always remember looking up at your dad while I was holding you and seeing the love in his eyes. 

We felt nothing but blessed. You are truly a blessing. We will always love you. 

My Second Pregnancy

Dear Little One,

As I approach the end of the third trimester, I can't help but keep imagining who you are and what life has in store for you. You are entering this world as our second born son but we already know we couldn't love you more. 

This pregnancy has been uncomplicated and simple. Fingers crossed for the same with labor and delivery as well as those first few months. You are indeed an active little one in the womb, as I type I can see your movements and you often take my breath away. If you are as active as your brother, the two of you are going to have to cut your tired mom some slack. We are going to have a houseful of boys and I am sure there will never be a dull moment. 

The final weeks of pregnancy have me continually reassuring myself that everything is going to work out beautifully. There will be sleepless nights, tears and frustration had by all but our family is growing and that is a joyous thing. I feel so blessed knowing that I will be holding you in my arms soon. I am looking forward to your warm breath on my chest, your hand snug around my finger and your heart beat being the only sound I hear. 

Your brother likes to poke you in my belly and give you kisses when he sees you move. He may not always be as gentle as we would like but he will love you with all of his heart. The two of you will be best friends, sharing secrets and stirring up trouble. He will always stand up for you. 

We love you little one. We always will. 

Love,

Mom 

Dear Harper: 1 Year

Dear Harper,

I will admit that I have been procrastinating writing your one year letter in hopes that you really haven't already turned one. Your Happy Birthday banner and weekly pictures still hang on the wall, a full week later. I can't not believe you are a one year old. You have developed such a personality that goes perfectly with your confidence and energy. 

You are on the go all day, climbing on furniture, banging on anything and everything that will make noise and making us laugh. The days are exhausting but always entertaining. Tears come often with all of the tumbles and trips but are quickly diminished with a hug and a kiss. Argos is your favorite playmate although you are not as gentle as he would like. The nights are restful now that at 11.5 months you have begun sleeping through the night. You become more and more independent every day and with that comes a stubborn streak. If baby isn't happy, no one is happy. Your happy place is in the dirt and the day is not over until you can't tell weither it is a bruise or layers of dirt. Rocks, sticks and dog toys still find their way into your mouth. You love going onto our pontoon boat and throwing items overboard. Naps still only occur in your carseat, stroller or in our arms. I will always let you nap in my arms no matter how many dishes are in the sink or emails need to be returned. The toilet has become an obsession with you and even with a baby lock, one must check to make sure their aren't any toys floating around. Bath time is hit or miss with you. Some nights you and your dad have a fun time playing with toys and splashing around and other nights one would think it was a form of torture. 

You are an amazing baby and it is a blessing to be your mom. You have touched many hearts around you and loved by so many.

We all look forward to year two! 

I love you Harper Glen. I always will. 

Love,

Mom

Dear Harper: 11 Months

Dear Harper,

Thank goodness we only have a few more weeks taking these pictures because it is becoming an impossible task. I would have to say you enjoy it. The challenge this month? You sit up and take off WALKING and basically running away. I then chase you, pick you up, sit you down, lay you flat and snap as many pictures as possible. This happens about a dozen times before I give up. 

Yes Harper Glen, you have been full on walking for over a month now. Your lack of fear took you from three steps to walking across the room over the span of 24 hours. You keep me running around all day but I can not complain. The joy you have from your new sense of freedom is contagious. 

Everyday you remind me that you have grown out of being a baby and are now a toddler. You love to "help" vacuum, "pet" Argos, throw your ball, carry my rolling pin all over the house and drink water. We are trying to teach you to be gentle but as everyone says, you are all boy. If it can be taken apart, you have taken it apart. If it can be climbed you try so hard. Bumps and bruises are a daily occurrence. 

This month you got to meet your Great Grandma Karen. We took a trip to the east coast with your grandma and great grandma. It is such a blessing to see you spend time with those that love you. You will get to meet even more extended family this week. 

You slept through the night last night! Some weeks you sleep through the night a few times but then some nights you still wake up at least once. I will say you are doing so much better in the sleep department. Everyone in the house is now well rested. Now if you would only nap in your crib… 

This month you had your first batch of swim lessons. I even dunked you under a few times. I can say you drank way too much pool water for your belly to handle but enjoyed every second of it. You love being pulled into the pool and singing the silly songs. Your favorite trick is getting out of the pool by yourself, waving to us and walking away. When you are done, you are done. 

We have been planning your 1st birthday celebration. We are so grateful for you and the joy you have brought to our lives. You are a blessing. 

Please stay my little baby for a little while longer. I love you dearly Harper Glen. I always will. 

I love you.

Love,

Mom.

Dear Harper: 10 Months

Dear Harper,

You have two speeds: full steam and crashed. I thought it was exhausting to have a newborn but having an active baby always on the go takes far more energy. Especially having an active baby that hasn't taken a single nap in his crib all month. We try. We try for hours and you fight it with all of your strength. If you are in need of a nap and the signs are obvious (rubbing nose, yawning and cranky), we either go for a drive around the lake or I strap you into your stroller and go for a walk. It works almost every time. I am making a goal of month 11 to get you back in the crib for at least one nap. Mom has to get something done. 

I wish I could say your lack of naps meant a full night of sleep but that isn't the case. Most nights you still go to sleep easily but decide to wake up within a few hours ready to party. Once your dad and I take turns getting you back down, you stay asleep for a few more hours until round two. Our days almost always start around 6am. Some nights you let us catch up on sleep and only wake once for about 15 minutes. That we can both handle. 

When you are awake (and well rested), you are a joy. Happy as could be, with a big smile on your face. You jabber all day long as you bounce from one activity to the next. You still love walking with your zebra push walker and are taking a few steps on your own. Not full on walking yet but very close. Too close. We go for walks at least once a day and your dad bought you a seat for my bike. When the weather is nice we like to do a few laps around the neighborhood. You hate your helmet and attempt to pull it off until you forget it is on top of your head. 

You eat pretty much everything that is placed in front of you. Noodles and blueberries are your favorite as well as smoothies and hummus. You will throw a fit for a organic pouch if one comes into view. Most days your act like you hate your highchair when we are attempting to strap you in but love to eat. 

The kitchen has become off limits to you. You like to climb up the stove to push all of the buttons. We can lock the keypad but it still makes a sound each time you push a button and that is your favorite. Even with baby locks on the drawers and cabinets you are still able to get into trouble. 

We have started working on invitations for your party. I can't believe you will be one in less than two months! Where has the time gone? 

Stop growing up Harper Glen. I love you. I always will. 

Love,
Mom