Dear Charlie: 9 months

Dear Charlie,

This has been a huge month for you! You have become such a speedy crawler! You definitely have your own style but it works for you and is so adorable to watch. It is amazing how quickly you can get across the house. You also are able to pop right up into a standing position and even cruise across the couch or coffee table. All of our absolute favorite activity is walking around the house while you hold one of my hands and of of your brother's hands. You are so proud of your self. I bet you will be walking by Christmas! 

I would have to guess that you have doubled your intake of solids this month. Luckily, your dad's garden is in full bloom to allow you unlimited supply of yellow squash and green beans. After you have had your fair share of finger foods at each meal I then offer you a pouch. For a few months I was unsuccessfully spooning the food to you but now you want to hold it yourself and slurp it right up. You still make a huge mess when you eat! So much food gets stuck in all of your rolls.

We went to the doctor last week for your nine month checkup and a flu shot. Your stats are off the chart. You are weighing in at 24 pounds and 2 ounces. Needless to say, the doctor is very happy with your growth. 

Since you are such a big baby, we had to upgrade you to the next carseat. There was no way I was going to be able to keep getting you in and out of the infant seat. Brother thinks its so neat that you both have the same seat. I know you are more comfortable in it. The only negative has been that when you do fall asleep, I have to attempt to unbuckle and move you or just let you stay in the car. 

Napping has continued to go great in the crib. You regularly take three naps a day. Typically two thirty-ish minute and one around an hour. I figured you would drop the morning nap by now but most days you are awake by 6am and ready for a nap by 9am. The second nap is after your early lunch and then we aim for the third by 4pm. You are able to sleep in the jogging stroller now so when the weather is nice I try to have you take the morning nap outside. 

Nighttime sleeping continued to be rough this month but as we neared the end I saw some progress. You were still waking up every few hours. I try to let you cry for a few minutes and upon occasion you will adjust and get back to sleep but most times the crying just gets more intense and I try to grab you before your dad and brother wake up. 

You are up to seven teeth! Seven teeth you like to bite with. Eeeeek. 

You say DaDa, GoGo and MaMa currently which is so exciting. You are babbling constantly. 

You still like to be carried but don't like to be held or cuddled. I take advantage at night when you are sleepy! 

I love you Charlie Ash. I always will. 

Dear Charlie: 8 Months

Dear Charlie,

I knew this month was going to be a fun one. You love to play and are starting to be able to bounce with a beat. It is hilarious watching you bob around. Any toy that can be knocked over or chewed on is still your favorite. You are so quick getting around in your walker too! Everyone needs to watch out for their toes when we place you in it. You absolutely love it. You are happy in the activity saucer when there is activity to watch. Lately, I have been putting the saucer outside while I chase your brother around or water the plants. You love being outside and the weather has gifted us with a few cooler days this month. 

Drool, drool and more drool. There aren't enough drool bibs and outfit changes to keep you dry. Those darn teeth give you such a hard time. You officially have four but there are maybe another four that I can see. I am unable to get a good look because as soon as I go snooping around you chomp down. You have become quite the biter. Pretty much every single time I pick you up, you try to take a bite out of my neck. I've tried a few different "natural" teething remedies and brands but I don't feel like they do anything. It also appears that your amber teething necklace only makes people think you are a "pretty little girl, with so much hair". Sorry kiddo. 

We aren't sure if it is teething, sleep regression or your overall hatred of sleep but nights haven't gotten any better. Most nights you end up in our bed for a few hours when I become too tired to rock or dance you around. Napping isn't horrible. You typically take two crib naps and another nap on the go totally around 2.5 hours a day. Sometimes more and sometimes a lot less. 

I know you can crawl, I've seen it happen a few times, you just have chosen not to. I am completely ok with that. I know that when I set you down you will be within a few feet of where I left you. You will be mobile for the rest of your life so for now keep sitting an smiling. I have also seen you pull yourself up a few times. All of this happens when you think I am not watching. I am always watching, little one. 

You are such a joy. 

Dear Charlie: 7 Months

Dear Charlie,

You have become such a happy baby. You love interacting with the world around you. New sights and sounds make you smile and of course anything you can touch goes directly into your mouth. You are now a confident sitter and are content playing with your stacking cups, noise makers or any of your brother's toys. You still hate being on your belly and will scream whenever you wind up there.

Your second bottom tooth cut through this month. Teething drives you wild. You drool through multiple bibs a day, you have to be chewing on something constantly and you are so cranky. Once the tooth is through its no big deal and life is back to normal. Except when you bite me...

Lunch and dinner is a messy, fun time for everyone involved. We are still offering a variety of purees mixed with baby oatmeal  but are now also offering you slices of avocado and roasted sweet potato. You love chewing on carrot sticks, celery and apple slices but that is more of a teething need. You do love grabbing handfuls of your brother's food when his plate gets within your range. 

Your sleep hasn't improved much this month. Part of the blame can go towards teething and your hatred of being on your belly but you also caught your first cold.  Your brother brings home snotty nose germs daily from school, the park and play groups but this was the first to stick. You had a constant runny noise, a brief fever and a cough that stuck around for a few weeks. Laying on your back made breathing difficult and you wanted to be held all night long. 

You are quickly out growing all of your 6 to 12 month outfits. I am hoping when you decide to be mobile you will thin down just enough to get a few more months out of them. You are suck a chunk and I love  it. At this months check up you weighed in at 21 lbs 5 oz and 28 3/4" tall. Your brother better watch out or you will be bigger than him! 

I can already tell that this next month is going to be an exciting one!

I love you sweet Charlie Ash. My little duck. 

Dear Charlie: 6 Months

Dear Charlie,

Happy half birthday! I really can't believe we have reached the sixth month milestone. I still picture you as your squishy new born self but you have become a strong, chunky boy. 

This past month has had so many important memories. You cut your first tooth! This is the tooth that we have all sworn was going to "come through any day now" for the past two months. It finally cut through and it cut through with vengeance. I keep forgetting how sharp the little tooth is and when you need to be soothed, I instinctively give you my finger to suck on. This loving gesture is quickly taken back when you clamp down as hard as you are able. 

We also started you on organic baby cereal and pureed veggies this month. So far you have approved of sweet potatoes, carrots and peas mixed in with your baby oatmeal. You are finally starting to accept avocado which is a good thing because one tree is currently ripe and our big tree is just weeks away. We have been feeding you in the Bumboo seat and only at dinner but plan on transitioning you into the highchair this month and adding lunch. 

You were baptized this month. It was a beautiful service and so many of your family members were present at the church and celebrated with us at our home after the service. The entire congrigation smiled when the water was placed on your head and you gave the biggest (at the time) toothless grin. You did so well and my heart was so full of love. Unfortunately, I came down with Mastitis in the middle of the night and was not feeling well but I was so happy to have so much help and love all around. 

Your nighttime sleeping is still varied. Most nights you wake up two or three times, nurse for less than ten minutes and go back to sleep without issues. A few nights you only woke up once. There have still been many nights this month that you are sleeping three or four hours the first stretch and then waking up almost every hour after that. I place you in your crib awake enough where you let out a scream but quickly fall asleep and you typically sleep on your back for the first few hours. After that you tend to roll onto your belly, which is fine, until you wake up and start screaming because you are on your belly and normally crammed into a corner of your crib. You are 100% able to roll back onto you back but you don't. I try to just roll you over and not get you out to nurse but somehow you get even angrier. 

You want to crawl so bad and I think that may be part of the sleep issue. You are able to squirm enough to get a toy placed a few inches out of your reach and you can roll multiple times when needed but you aren't crawling. You are able to get your legs tucked in under you but then all forward progress is halted by you face planting. Then screaming... 

You are starting to sit like a champ and as long as you don't get distracted can sit for a few minutes without timbering over. You dad is looking forward to your sitting improving so that we can move past the infant tub and take a bath with your brother. Harper is so excited for that. 

You got to go swimming for the first time this month too. You loved it. We sat you in a baby pool float and you just hung out while brother practiced his swimming. It was so much fun. 

You are such a happy baby. You love to bounce in your Jolly Jumper, be worn facing out, play in your activity saucer, chew on teething necklaces  carried around and kissed on. You do not like to sit still, sit in your carseat or your stroller, nap in your crib or to be set down. You love attention from your brother but hate when he cried. You always fall asleep shortly after brother has left, like you know it is now safe to relax. 

You are a sweetheart and I feel so blessed to be your mom. I look forward to the next six months! 

Dear Charlie: Month 5

Dear Charlie,

We are halfway through your sixth month but I am now finally rested enough to write about your fifth month. If I had to choose one word to describe our last six weeks it would be exhausting. You hit the four month sleep regression like clockwork. IF we got you to sleep in less than an hour;  we were lucky if you stayed asleep for longer than an hour. Every time you woke up, you woke up screaming. I would nurse you, you would fall asleep and then there was the tricky part of transitioning you to the crib. I know I shouldn't nurse you to sleep but it felt like my only option. Sometimes we would fall asleep in the glider and I would wake, startled by you flinching and realize we had been sleeping for an hour or sometimes two. Every morning around 4:30 I would bring you to our bed and lay with you and pray for a little more sleep knowing that your brother would be up before the son. Your dad had a long six weeks with work and had to be up and gone before Harper was awake making for very challenging mornings and long days. As I knock on wood, you have been back to only waking twice at night... Zero complaints from me.

I think the sleeping troubles added to your daytime hours of upsets. Luckily, those have also seemed to pass but it was back to the newborn witching hours that seemed to last for most of the day. You seemed to scream and scream and scream until I nursed you or tricked you into a nap. It would break my heart but then you would just start smiling again. 

When you are a happy baby you are such a joy. You have the best, goofy laugh. You love to be kissed on and peekaboo is your favorite. The activity saucer has been a big hit this month and so has the Jolly Jumper. Both can buy me 15 minutes to prep dinner, start a load of laundry or attempt a quick workout but most of the time I find myself chugging a smoothy, power eating a salad or eating half a bar of chocolate. 

You are no longer safe set down on raised surfaces because you will roll and roll and roll. Every day you seem to enjoy being on your belly more. You still hate your carseat. Luckily, your morning and late afternoon nap both fall on Harper's preschool schedule so you typically fall asleep on the way to his school.  Harper loves showing off his brother at school to all of his friends. He is always so concerned when you aren't with me.

No teeth yet but necklace teethers are your best friend. You weighed 16lbs 13oz and were 27" tall at our last doctors appointment. He gave us the go ahead to start solids. He is hoping that it might help with some of your tummy troubles and maybe even give me a break. 

I know I will remember the sleepless nights but I hope I also remember your sweet coos and that wild comb over hairstyle you are currently sporting.

I love you Charlie Ash. I always will. 

Charlie: Month 4

Dear Charlie,

Month four was kicked off with a growth spurt accompanied by a sleep regression. Nothing I wasn't mentally prepared for. Most nights you were waking up once or twice and quickly going back to sleep after nursing but for a week you were waking up three times and fought going back to sleep. What I wasn't mentally prepared for was the intensity of your teething. You have checked off every single symptom that is listed in every single book this week. Drooling, slight fever, swollen gums, diaper rash, irritable, not sleeping, chewing on everything... Basically every single "natural" remedy was ordered off of Amazon. Breaks my heart to see you so upset and awake almost all night. There is currently no visual of an actual tooth... 

You are officially rolling over again. You aren't very motivated too roll over but are capable. All you are interested in is finding something to chew on. Currently my fingers, chew bead necklaces, your little blue teether and your fists are your favorite. 

We have set up your brother's Jolly Jumper for you a few days ago. You love standing up and looking around but haven't started jumping around in it yet. I know that will come. 

You still fight naps but we have gotten into more of a routine during the day. Still not napping in your crib but I know that will come. The days your brother isn't at school most of your naps have to happen while I am wearing you  or else Harper will wake you up. "Baby Up!" 

Your giggle warms my heart. You smile often and love to laugh when we kiss you especially behind your ears. 

You love, love, love having your diaper changed. I find it so odd but it must be because you like laying down that close to our faces and love all of the attention. You could lay there for thirty minutes without a complaint. You also enjoy laying in your crib after you wake up in the morning as long as you are unwrapped. If your brother is still asleep, I will pour myself a cup of coffee while you lay there cooing and chewing on your toes. 

You are starting to look more and more like my baby pictures and my mom's baby pictures... just not as chunky. I am looking forward to taking you to the doctor in a few weeks to see how much you have actually grown. 

I am sure I am leaving out important memories but I will admit that I am exhausted. Lack of sleep and two little ones would wear anyone out. It is worth it. 

You are such a sweet baby.

I will always love you. 

Charlie: Month 3

Dear Charlie,

You are a smiling, cooing three month old. You still like to scream but you have become more of a content baby. You are now able to sooth yourself by sucking on your hand or fingers but boy does that make you drool. You may have more outfit changes than your brother. The laundry is never ending! 

This was the first month that I had you and your brother all day, every day. We made it work but it was exhausting and tears were shed by all three of us. Your brother would be upset because we couldn't go outside and play and then you would be upset when your meal was cut short by your brother needing attention.  Luckily for you and me, your brother took a two to three hour nap every afternoon. This gave us time for cuddling and napping on the couch. I know your brother is going to be so excited once you are strong enough to play with him. 

You still hate the carseat when it is in the car. When the carseat is clipped into the stroller for quick errands you don't seem to mind it as much. Maybe it is because you like seeing the world around you? I tend to wear you in one of the baby carriers when we go for our morning walk while I push your brother in the jogging stroller. I am looking forward to you being able to sit in the double stroller with him. I also tend to wear you when we are out running errands or when I am attempting to clean up around the house.

There are times when you are completely content sitting in the Rock and Play (which you are about to grow out of) or laying on the floor or bed but more often then not you want to be held. 

You are starting to bat at the toys on your play mat and on your carseat and quickly caught on to their sound making abilities. You are able to grab and shake a rattle as well as hold on to small stuffed animals. You like gripping a blanket or my shirt and sucking on it until it is drenched with your drool. 

We know you are so close to being able to laugh. We can see it in your face when you find something funny but the laugh hasn't surfaced. There is nothing better than a baby belly laughing. I think your dad and I have an unspoken competition on who can make you laugh first. He won with Harper. He can be pretty darn goofy. 

Bath time is your second favorite activity after nursing. I am looking forward to in another month or so getting you into a warm swimming pool. I know you will love it. Soon enough it will be time for swim lessons. We just finished your brother's lessons and after screaming at every lesson last year he actually enjoyed it this year. I have a feeling you are going to scream as much as he did... That being said we may wait until next spring to start your lessons. 

I can already tell this next month is going to be a fun one full of milestones and smiles.

I love you Charlie Ash. I always will.

Dear Harper: 2nd Year

Dear Harper,

My sweet boy, you turned two this month. I keep finding myself standing in our hallway looking at your newborn, six month, one year, eighteen month and now two year pictures. In my eyes you are still that adorable, chunky baby boy. It warms my heart knowing that you still want to be held and cuddle with your momma. 

You have the kindest heart but boy are you a busy one. From the moment you wake up, before six on most days, you just go, go, go until you eventually crash for a few hours in the afternoon then it is go, go, go until bedtime. 

You love your routines and remind us if we alter them in anyway. Your quick to point out a cabinet left open, a full dishwasher or a dryer that needs to be emptied. Vacuuming has become one of your favorite hobbies and it didn't take long for you to mimic the sound. You also like to "wash" the windows with baby wipes, someday I will tell you that smearing toddler grime doesn't count as cleaning. 

As much as you like cleaning, you love to get dirty. Almost every night when dad gets home from work the two of you spend time outside tending to the garden, working in the garage or finding other ways to get dirty.  You love to dig holes in the yard but being in the garden is your favorite. You will eat green onions right out of the soil and tomatoes straight off the vine. I love that you love being out there and I know  your dad feels the same way. 

Since the fall you have been going to Moms Morning Out at our church. There were tears in the beginning but you grew to love it. You had the best teachers and loved seeing your friends Gerry, Hudson and Max there. It was hard for me to leave you those first few times but I knew it was good for you mentally and emotionally. I knew you were in good hands. 

You took your first round of swim lessons last summer and boy were there tears! You hate to float but got so good at it. By the end of the summer, you could kick your way across a pool. I was so proud of you but hated hearing you scream. We have already started lessons this summer and you remembered so much of it and cry so much less. You are always so proud of yourself. 

You are such a good eater! I am always impressed when I see you eating what your dad and I eat for dinner. You love anything that comes with a side of guacamole and we haven't had a fruit that you will turn down. You even like seaweed snacks! You love anything dipped in hummus as well as any dish that includes noodles. I even catch you sneaking frozen corn and peas straight out of the freezer for a snack. Most mornings we will split a smoothie and at least once a week I have trouble finishing mine but you keep asking for more. 

You became a big brother this year. My heart melts seeing you show your brother love. You aren't always the most gentle and those first few weeks were rough but I know you love him. You just want him to be able to run around and play with you. Soon enough.

New words come out of your mouth daily. Many catch me off guard. You are starting to string them together and be able to ask for what you want. Your dad and I have to be very cautious about what we say around you because you are quick to repeat it. Argos is "go-go" and Charlie is still "bebe". Apparently all animals go "moo" except dinosaurs because they "Raaaaawwwrrrr". 

You are quick to shake off most trips and falls but "boo boos" require kisses. Sometimes you purposely cause a "boo boo" to get a kiss. You are a ham. 

Harper, your second year of life has been such a joy. You are a  busy boy but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I love you yesterday, today and tomorrow too. I will always love you. 

Dear Charlie: 2 Months

Dear Charlie,

I can't believe you are two months old but I will say you do look older! All those rolls and chunky cheeks are adorable. You have nearly doubled in size. You weighed in at 14 lbs 2 oz and are 24 inches long!  I keep squeezing you into your 0-3 month clothes because I am not ready to move on to the next size. I wouldn't mind keeping you as my tiny, snuggly newborn forever. Although I am ready for the newborn evening screaming to pass. Every night, without fail, you cry your lungs out from the time your dad gets home from work to bedtime. The only moments you aren't crying are when you are nursing, taking a cat nap or in the bath. 

You don't seem to have strong feelings for or against the bath. Overall it appears to be a pleasant experience for you. There are no tears but there isn't any smiling. You quickly protest the end of the bath and do not want to get dressed for bed. 

Most nights you go to sleep without a fight. I do my best to put you in your crib awake and pat your belly until you are settled. Yes you have been sleeping in your crib all month. The transition was smoother than I anticipated. You still take a few naps a week in your Rock and Play. We now have a new baby monitor to keep an eye on you so naps in the crib will hopefully be soon. I really enjoy having you nap on me but that makes keeping an eye on your brother challenging. 

Grandma Carole went home at the end of April but Grandpa Bob stuck around and your Aunt Kelle came down for her spring break. While they were here we took a trip over to Sebastian to enjoy the beautiful weather. You did wonderful. We sat in stopped traffic for two hours and you handled it beautifully. You even slept great in a Pack and Play. Your brother never liked that thing! 

You got to meet your Great Grandma Nonnie this past week along with your dad's Uncle Gene, Aunt Terry, Cousin Sarah and her two little ones. Austin is just a month younger than you! I can't wait to see the two of you become great friends. His older sister, Ashton, holds her own with your brother. 

I feel so blessed that you are so loved by so many family members. Having your Grandma Carole here for your first two months of life was such a treat. She kept your brother busy but always made sure to have cuddle time with you at the end of the day. You always made sure to spit up on her outfit before she left. 

We celebrated your first Easter this weekend. You were such a sweet baby at church. Your Gammy and Papa came over to watch your brother hunt for Easter eggs and eat lunch. Next year you will be ready to hunt eggs with your brother! 

When you are fussy being out doors or loud music seems to help. The blender always quiets you. I have gotten in the habit of over blending my morning smoothy if you are upset. Tickles and silly songs make you all smiles. You are just starting to enjoy your playmat but aren't too thrilled with tummy time. You love to be "standing" and hate to be strapped into your carseat. I think you are going to be very busy very soon! 

If it was up to you, you would nurse all day. I try to stretch out feedings as long as you will allow but you want to cluster feed in the morning and evenings. You go for 5 to 6 hours at night for the first stretch but after that you only go 2 to 3 hours. You out grew your velcro swaddles this month and we switched you to the Halo Sleep Sacks that everyone recommends. It doesn't matter how tight I wrap you at least half the time you have an arm out by the next feeding. 

I wasn't sure how it was going to be having you sleep in our room but now I wouldn't have it any other way. I never slept well with your brother in his room those first few months. Having you close by allows me to check on you and sneak kisses as often as I want. 

You are such a joy Charlie. I will always love you. 

Dear Charlie: 1 Month

Dear Charlie,

We have been blessed to have you in our lives for a month. These four weeks have flown by. 

It has been an adjustment growing from a family of three to a family of four but with each day the overwhelming feelings lessened.  The biggest adjustment has been for your big brother. He wasn't used to having to share our attention, wasn't too sure what exactly you were doing at our house and why you weren't leaving. 

The day we got to bring you home it was rainy and dark out. You slept for most of your first day home and even surprised us with how well you slept that night. So far you have been a great sleeper for a newborn. You typically have a four to five hour stretch followed by a couple two hour stretches. There are no complaints from your parents. You are even sleeping better than your big brother most nights! We currently have you sleeping in your Rock and Play because you are not a fan of being flat on your back but hope to transition you to your crib soon. We dress you in your very handsome gowns and swaddle you in a velcro swaddle. The velcro swaddles are amazing and prevent you from busting out in the middle of the night. 

The first two weeks you napped for most of the day. When you were awake you either nursed or were just content. It wasn't until the third week when you decided to use your lungs A LOT. Now if you aren't sleeping, nursing, or milk drunk you like to scream. Being worn in the Ergo seems to help but as soon as you decide you want out you will cry until it is time for bed unless I am nursing you. Nursing you through dinner has seemed to be the only way your dad, brother and I can sit down together and we are ok with that. I may have dropped a vegetable or two on your head but that hasn't seemed to distract you. 

You are so strong and so alert already. You love lifting your head and looking at the lights around you. I love looking into your eyes as you explore. 

Bath time is still a time for you to cry your hardest. Each night seems to get a little better but you have not learned to enjoy it yet. You hated the sponge baths prior to your umbilical cord falling off and sitting in the infant tub seemed to anger you less. We are looking forward to you and your brother getting to play in the bath together once you are strong enough. 

We have only ventured out of the house to go to your doctor and to  Gammy's and Papa's house a couple of times but have a few outings planned this week. We have started to take walks with you in your infant seat. Some mornings it will just be the two of us but if your Grandma Carole is here we load up the double Bob and bring Argos with us. Your brother loves holding your hand while we walk. 

I think one of the biggest differences between bringing you home and brining your brother home is our confidence. We know everything is going to be okay and the mantra "this too shall pass" when we are in a tough or exhausting moment. 

You are a wonderful addition to our family. We will forever love you Charlie Ash. 

Charlie's Birth Story

Geoff and I are very happy to announce that our 2nd son, Charlie Ash Roe, was born February 3rd at 7:52pm. 

The days leading up to your arrival were full of anticipation. I was so excited to meet you but my anxiety was through the roof. My mind was full of questions, concerns and "what ifs". The night prior to your due date, I made sure to eat every food listed on the "may induce labor" charts and your brother and I danced and danced and danced. I was willing to do anything to have you enter this world on your own. 

I was suddenly, painfully awaken by contractions at 2am on your due date. Your brother had woken up at midnight wanting to cuddle with your dad in his room leaving me alone in our room. Your dad had no idea that you would be here soon until the next morning. The contractions were very inconsistent ranging from five minutes to fifteen minutes apart and only thirty seconds long. This continued throughout the night and into the morning. It wasn't until mid morning that they got closer together and longer but still not your textbook when you are five minutes apart, a minute long for an hour. 

Grandma Carole picked up your brother to get his haircut and play at the park while I labored at home for a few hours. Around lunch your dad came home and we attempted to watch TV to distract me. It wasn't until I had been having contractions for 12 hours that I decided to go to the hospital. I was almost certain they would send me home but the pain was getting intense but again still not consistent.

Once at the hospital, I still thought they would release me back home from triage so we didn't even bring up any of our bags. Triage was completely full and they had to find another room for us. The full moon was sending all of the moms into labor! The nurse hooked me up to the monitor and said she would be back soon to check on my progress. I think she too believe I would be going home because I hadn't had a single contraction since she put us in the room. As she was stepping out to check on the other moms a contraction came and your drop in heartbeat stopped her in her tracks. The drop singled a few things but it let her know that your head was getting squeezed. She checked my progress and to everyone's surprise I was 6 cm dialted. We weren't going home! I instantly teared up. You were going to be born soon! 

They moved us to a labor and delivery room, got an IV going, took my blood and filled out paperwork. I was anxiously awaiting the blood work to see if my platelet count was high enough for an epidural. It was! The same anesthesiologist was on call that gave me my first epidural was there and that was a relief. The epidural took just how I was hoping and I could finally relax. Your dad was now able to go downstairs to get our bags and your cord blood kit. 

At this point I had only progressed another centimeter and was waiting on the doctor to break my water.  The hospital was extremely busy and I could tell that no one was in any rush to break my water knowing that I would progress quickly after that. Each nurse had multiple patients and the nurse that was at my side when I delivered was the fifth of the night to come to our aid. 

Dr Moreno was the OB on call and she did a wonderful job ensuring that everything went smoothly. She broke my water and over the course of the next couple hours I was dilated fully. 

It was time to push and I broke down emotionally. The pain of the contractions had returned on half of my body but I knew you were going to be here soon. I didn't realize how soon though! I was mentally prepared to push for well over an hour and was pacing myself. I even pushed the button to give me a little more pain relief.  I didn't want to use up all of my energy in the beginning even though the doctor told me it wouldn't take that long. Less than ten minutes later, you were placed on my chest. I was holding my baby boy. There were no words. You were perfect. You even had a full head of brown hair! 

I found out later that one of the reasons your heart rate kept dropping was that your umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck. This didn't cause any additional issues and you took your first breath perfectly. You were a perfect 7lbs 10oz and 19.5" long. You felt so tiny in my arms. I will always remember looking up at your dad while I was holding you and seeing the love in his eyes. 

We felt nothing but blessed. You are truly a blessing. We will always love you. 

My Second Pregnancy

Dear Little One,

As I approach the end of the third trimester, I can't help but keep imagining who you are and what life has in store for you. You are entering this world as our second born son but we already know we couldn't love you more. 

This pregnancy has been uncomplicated and simple. Fingers crossed for the same with labor and delivery as well as those first few months. You are indeed an active little one in the womb, as I type I can see your movements and you often take my breath away. If you are as active as your brother, the two of you are going to have to cut your tired mom some slack. We are going to have a houseful of boys and I am sure there will never be a dull moment. 

The final weeks of pregnancy have me continually reassuring myself that everything is going to work out beautifully. There will be sleepless nights, tears and frustration had by all but our family is growing and that is a joyous thing. I feel so blessed knowing that I will be holding you in my arms soon. I am looking forward to your warm breath on my chest, your hand snug around my finger and your heart beat being the only sound I hear. 

Your brother likes to poke you in my belly and give you kisses when he sees you move. He may not always be as gentle as we would like but he will love you with all of his heart. The two of you will be best friends, sharing secrets and stirring up trouble. He will always stand up for you. 

We love you little one. We always will. 

Love,

Mom